people of pattaya: part one

 all i need for an entertaining weekend night out is a 7/11 beer, a plastic chair on walking street, and when i’m feeling ambitious, my camera, to work on my self-appointed “people of pattaya” photography project. people watching is priceless here. the shirtless man with the hugest beer belly i might have ever seen, ever. i guess he’s right to leave it uncovered, it really is quite spectacular. the ladyboy with the completely unnecessary skirt that doesn’t even cover 2/3 of her butt cheeks. they really know how to make us 100% females feel bad about our bodies, given our genetically inevitable cellulite adorning the upper thighs of even the slenderest of girls. these lady boys prance around with the uniqueness of their particular gender circumstances giving them the best damn ass and legs you can find. not fair! then come the fanny packs. no eager lady-eyed pattaya explorer is ready to go hit the town without this essential accessory that *surprise* apparently didn’t go out of style. bright red mesh on bright red boardshorts. matching pink plaid ensembles. men looking like they wandered accidentally straight from the nursing home. fake boobies at breaking point pushed up out of teeny tops adorning an all-too muscular set of arms and shoulders. and more fanny packs, fanny packs, fanny packs. then comes the sporadic “good guy goes to heaven, bad guy goes to pattaya” tee shirt. just in case you were doubting why this guy is here…