30.5.10

language stupidity...

…more and more inevitable moments of cultural stupidity as i forget how to articulate in english the meaning of the symbol of a dog with a red line across it. once i finally realize what the nice apartment owner lady was trying to ask me, i stupidly say “Do not enter, Dogs!” thank god my brain finally decided to kick itself into action, correcting myself “No dogs allowed.” i would have felt unforgivably braindead if the entrance door to their quaint little apartment complex was forever adorned with the warning to all english-speaking dogs: “hey you, do not enter!”



later is my first desperate search for coffee in my new country. i don’t allow myself to take the easy way out after barely being in thailand 24 hours by walking into one of the many expat-owned cafes beckoning to me with their all-english signs of “fresh coffee” and “english breakfast!” so instead I find a small café-ish looking hut with signs purely in thai script, aside from the one reassuring word in english: “coffee.” i attempt to convey my desire for iced black coffee, pointing to the espresso machine, miming “cold,” and pointing to the sugary powdered milk product on the counter and shaking my head vigorously. i speak directions slowly and quietly in my best articulated english, as if my low volume would somehow help the words more easily sneak into the sweet spot of comprehension in the barista’s brain. my feelings of reassurance when the understanding clicks between us overshadows the blatantly bemused looks I earn for my lack of desire for sugar. in this culture, i soon realize, sugar receives just as much appreciation in all aspects of cuisine as the famous thai chilies and spiciness. since i know the embarrassment of trying to explain my order will be the first of many similar instances to come, i try to ask how to name my order in thai, in hopes of lessening the ordeal for the next morning’s café visit. plus, opportunities for learning are everywhere in a new country. this may just be my first thai vocab word on my journey toward fluency…


it takes me several stupid moments of back and forth repetitions (attempting to perfect my adopted thai accent of course) to realize that all he is saying is “iced espresso”…surely wondering once again why this poor confused farang hadn’t just asked for it in the first place…


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